Randy Gage wrote the book “Why You’re DUMB, SICK and BROKE…” It is a great read and makes tons of sense. You can also get Randy’s Rants at www.randygage.com.
Here is his newest rant and it is hilarious.
Well as we segue into another New Year, it’s always a good idea to reflect back on the year that just ended, and discern the lessons we have learned. And since many of you have alcohol and drug issues and can’t remember what happened last week, I thought I’d be helpful and provide you with a recap.
On January 1st, the Czech Republic took over the presidency of the European Union from France. This set American geography teachers in a frantic scramble to teach their students where Europe was located.
Of course January started here in the States with tremendous CHANGE, as we inaugurated President Barack Obama to fulfill his mandate of new ideas and change from the past.
To ensure the ideas were new and different, he assembled a cabinet of people with new ideas never seen in Washington before. These included Attorney General Eric Holder (from the Clinton administration), Secretaries Shaun Donovan (from the Clinton administration), Hilda Solis (who has served in congress for the last nine years), former Congressman Ray LaHood, Robert Gates (from the Bush & Reagan administrations), and Timothy Geithner (who worked in three previous administrations). Also helping in the orgy of new ideas were fresh Washington faces Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton.
In February this group of original thinkers immediately went to work on brand new concepts that no one had ever thought of before, such as taxing productive workers more, socialized health care, and printing billions of extra dollars to devalue the currency in an effort to stimulate the economy. This revolutionary new stimulus plan was best described by economists as “nine wolves and a sheep, voting on what to have for dinner. ”
In March the President of Madagascar, Marc Ravalomanana, is overthrown in a coup d’état, following a month of rallies in Antananarivo. The United Nations calls an emergency session to try and discover where Madagascar is.
Also in March, football player Donte Stallworth kills a pedestrian while driving drunk. In a plea bargain deal, he receives community service and 30 days in jail. Later in the year, Plaxico Burress is sentenced to two years in prison for accidentally shooting himself in the leg. The lesson we learn is, ah, well, ah, I’m not exactly sure what lesson we learned from this.
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